August 17, 2022
As we send our children off to another exciting year of new learning and opportunities, we must remember the importance of a stable home environment for children to thrive academically. This is especially true when the family is in a period of transition. As children grow and life changes, it may be necessary for you to consider modification of your custody, parenting time, and/or academic decision-making orders in your family law matter. When determining if a modification is warranted, we believe it is important for parents to look “through the eyes of the child.” Often parents are consumed through fear and what is fair for the parents in times of a dissolution, neglecting to consider how this "fairness” effects the child. For example, while a 50/50 parenting time plan alternating daily might seem best for the schedule of the parents, it would leave the child in a constant state of relocation, living out of their luggage. This could create difficulty for children meeting their homework, school sport teams obligations, and other academic requirements. It is also often necessary to remind oneself that while emotions are frequently strained in periods of divorce or separation, it is not in your child’s best interest to be put in the middle. Children should not be used as communication tools between parents, or be forced to hear your grievances against the other parent. Our community has many wonderful resources, supports, and counseling opportunities for individuals. Parents should never speak disparagingly about the other parent or allow others to do so in the child’s presence. Remember, when you disparage the other parent, you are in effect telling the child that half of that child is not worthy of respect. This emotional stress load is not meant for children and can often negatively affect their schoolwork and socialization. Finally, as a family law practitioner, while time with parents is valuable and generally prioritized over extracurricular and social activities, parents must understand that these things often still carry importance. For many children, sports, hobby clubs, and friendships work as sources of stability as they try to adapt to their new life. While each child is different, parents may want to consider if accommodating these activities would provide emotional and physical benefits for their children. If you believe a modification of your existing custody, parenting time, or academic decision-making order is necessary, please contact Truitt Ray Law at (765) 742-7040 to schedule a consult with one of our experienced family law practitioners.
